Sins that lower our happiness in day to day life

 

Today all of us are running to achieve something in our lives. On the way to achieve our goals we sacrifice our happiness and give it the least priority. We are bound to think that life is difficult and one has to struggle through the journey of life but the fact is, life is easy if you take it simply and not complicate it for yourself.

In this article, I will be sharing some of the sins that we all commit which directly or indirectly lowers our happiness and also discuss about the habits one should adopt to increase their levels of long-term happiness.

SIN 1: Devaluating happiness

When you do not give happiness much importance knowingly or unknowingly and sacrifice it for the sake of other things then over some time you start living a stressful life and surround yourself with the negative thoughts only. For example, in a relationship, if there is any argument, we often try to prove ourselves right which leads to further arguments and lowering our happiness. In such a situation, never prove yourself right, just smile and stay calm. Staying calm is the key, do not get triggered by any situation. Remember that in a relationship either you can be right or happy, not both.

In stressful situations, learn to remind yourself what you ultimately want in life. This helps you make happiness enhancing decisions. However, do not monitor happiness constantly, just make it your priority. Define happiness for yourself, what are the things that make you happy- love/connection, peace, abundance, etc. and remember that definition when things are not going right for you. It will automatically brighten your mood.

"Everybody has problems, you are not the only one, remind yourself to be happy.."

Sin 2: Chasing superiority

In order to gain superiority over others and to be the best, you start comparing yourself with others on materialistic dimensions like possessions, looks, achievements, etc. Hence, you start observing others and want to compete with them. Observations about how others are doing has an evil effect on us. Social comparisons lead to envy and envy is a happiness killer. Chasing superiority makes you self-centered. Those who desperately want to be recognized by others are mostly disliked by others.

Instead of competing with others focus on your as well as others upliftment by working together to achieve goals. Do not envy or observe others on materialistic dimensions. If you want to lead a happy life, don't be desperate about recognition and then people will admire you. Even if you are not the best, believe in yourself, be confident and appreciate yourself that you at least tried.

When you have an aim, do not divert your mind to beating others as that leads to insecurity and tensions. Just concentrate on the process of achieving that aim. Absorb yourself completely into the process. This way you experience flow and your focus is only on the present. You constantly evolve, grow, and learn through the flow experiences. It leads you towards the mastery and at the same time people like to work with you.

3. Need to be loved

We all have a deep-seated need to be connected, to be loved, and to socialize. If this need is not fulfilled, a person can become psychologically damaged like an orphan who grew up with a number of psychological issues. We all want to be in healthy relationships because our happiness levels are comparatively high when we know that we are loved. The problem occurs when we become needy of love, we start craving to be loved which lowers our happiness. When you are needy of love, you are easily available and others may start taking you for granted. It makes you less attractive to others, less respected by them, might get you in wrong relationships, and so on.

So, it is important to have a right level of desire in relationships for the right balance. Do not expect anything from others. Remember the three things that you should incorporate in yourself: Being Generous, being Self-compassionate and Expressing Gratitude.

i. Being generous: Without expecting anything in return, be kind to others. Be an otherish giver and help others. However, it is not right to be self-sacrificing while giving as it will lower your happiness. When you are nice to others, others will be nice to you eventually.

ii. Being self-compassionate: When things are going badly, do not be harsh on yourself. Love yourself, be kind to yourself. Show the same compassion to yourself as you would have shown to a friend if he has been in a bad situation.

iii. Expressing gratitude: When things are going good, express gratitude. Suppose you are appreciated for something, remind yourself who helped you in the journey and be thankful to them. This improves the quality of relationships.

4. Being overly control seeking

When we become overly controlling of others and the outcomes then we easily get frustrated, angry and disappointed when something does not happen as we wanted. It leads to power stress and lowers our happiness levels. Seeking some amount of influence on others is good but forcing others into something, directly or indirectly is not a good idea. Accepting changes is very difficult for the people who want to control everything. They sacrifice their health, relationships, etc. in order to be overly controlling of outcomes.

Take personal responsibility for your happiness. Instead of trying to control the external environment, focus on controlling your internal environment, your own emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Learn to regulate what you have in your head and keep the key of your happiness in your hands instead of giving it to others.

Gaining internal control is not that easy, it comes through practice and patience. Practice of being mindful, calm, and positive. Avoid situations that evoke unwanted negative thoughts in you. During stressful situations, think of the things that you love. When you develop internal control, you realize that you don't even need the external control.

Remember, Everything happens for the best. Even the good thing can have bad consequences and even the bad thing can have good consequences. Nothing can actually be defined as good or bad in long-term.

#positivelife #happylife #staycalm #life #happiness